Most people do not consider me to be shy or solitary. I’d say overall I’m not. I’m capable of striking up a conversation, generally, at a party with a woman if she looks at me interestedly, and capable of calling up a friend, male or female, to hang out, even if I don’t know them [...]
Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category
Posted in Writing on August 23, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Lollycocks
Posted in Culture, Writing, tagged A.V. club, Candy Penis Bouquet, Coordinated Oral Sex Hour, edible genitalia treats, Emile, expectations, gender, Hallmark, henna, holidays, lollycocks, love, men, oral sex, penis, relationships, romance, sex, tasty multi-flavored penises, the onion, vagina, Valentine's Day, women on February 12, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Dear Emile, My girlfriend really likes receiving fancy gifts on Valentine’s Day, but I’m super-duper poor. What should I do? – Rob Dear Rob, You should break up with her. She sounds annoying. If you love her and don’t want to break up, get a henna tattoo on your penis. Those are very fancy. ——— [...]
Note to self
Posted in Writing, tagged athena, autumn, brooklyn, caetano veloso, dieu, existence of god, Fall, god, grilled cheese, indian summer, jehovah, milton nascimento, new york city, poetry, reminder, thor, tom waits, yahweh, zeus on October 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Yahweh, Jehovah, Zeus, Thor, Athena or whatever the fuck your name is This seventy-degree, Indian summer afternoon Reminds me that you have at least temporarily emerged from your hole in the rock To clear the clouds from this slow sun-setting sky And fade the leaves on the tree in front of me just enough To [...]
The new lactation sensation
Posted in Geography, Political Drivel, Writing, tagged animal rights, animal welfare, animals, Ben and Jerry's, breast milk, breast milk ice cream, breast pumps, breasts, cow's milk, cows, Holsteins, ice cream, ice cream factory, lactation, PETA, political correctness, Vermont, Vermonters, Waterbury on September 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I can’t imagine how much fun it must have been to walk around the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream factory and ask rural Vermonters about this. PETA maintains that if we really cared about animal welfare, we’d be drinking breast-milk ice cream: Mama’s Milk Ice Cream, Anyone? By JOHN CURRAN – 19 hours ago WATERBURY, [...]
A brief foray into the Northeastern sexual character, or lack thereof
Posted in Geography, Writing, tagged 9th grade English class, Argentina, Brazil, coitus, cold weather, comfort blanket, Cosmo, croissants, DC, Don't Blame it on Rio, Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome, February, friendliness, General Petraus, ice cream, Jessica Alba, lingerie, March, men, Montpelier, negligees, New England, Northeast, Northeasterners, platitudes, seasonal change, seasons, sex, sexual politics, sexuality, southerners, summer, summer relationships, The Real Deal Behind why Men go to Brazil for sex, tropical, tropics, unfriendliness, USA, Vermont, Vermonters, Washington, winter, winter relationships, women on August 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I had a three hour layover between trains last spring in Washington, D.C.’s Union Station, during which I spent some quality time with Don’t Blame it on Rio: The Real Deal Behind Why Men Go to Brazil for Sex. The crux of the book’s argument, and my interest therein, was why women of the tropics [...]
Last Monday
Posted in Writing, tagged burritos, easter dinner, eighties, expat, frogs, memory, monday, neon pink, poetry, Rachmaninov, tuxedos, vespers mass on July 31, 2008 | 1 Comment »
not a thousand frogs tap-dancing in neon pink tuxedos singing a rachmaninov vespers mass in seven part harmony rolling three-tomatoed, sugar-sausaged six foot burritos for easter dinner with the king could have been half as gratifying as the one dollar beers i shared with you in the expat eighties bar
Excellence in journalism
Posted in Writing, tagged excellence, journalism, new hampshire, upper valley, valley news, valley newss, Vermont on July 28, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Only a slight regression from the norm. I had the privilege of reading the Valley News as a child. I regularly enjoyed three page articles on such riveting subjects as ¨how community college educational theater is being improved by advanced lighting design.¨ Recently this journalistic gem was published. A local boy´s words cannot suffice [...]
What to do if you don´t like Vermont
Posted in Writing, tagged Aaron, Al Pacino, beer, Boston, Chile, cocaine, Colombian Independence Day, costa rica, doggie bags, drunken volcano-biking, ex pats, facial surgery, Honduras, joints, Quepos, Red Sox, Santiago, Saranac Lake, scarface, Somerville, UVM, Vermont, whores on July 28, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Aaron grew up in the Adirondacks, near Saranac Lake. He went to UVM but didn´t like it. There were too many lesbians, it was too cold, and he was treated like a flatlander. When he was 21 he was in Ontario and got shitfaced in an airport. His friends played a practical joke and convinced [...]
Eulogy
Posted in Writing, tagged alice, alice swanson, eulogy, gene van guilder, Hemingway, poetry, yellow leaves on July 11, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Ernest Hemingway wrote a eulogy for his friend, Gene Van Guilder, upon his death: Best of all he loved the fall The leaves yellow on the cottonwoods Leaves floating on the trout streams And above the hills The high blue windless skies Now he will be a part of them forever
